Welcome to Alcatraz... It's part one of the Alcatraz season (series?) finale and, following last week's cliffhanger, Lucy (Parminder Nagra) has sprung back to life after being exposed to Webb Porter's magic blood. And she's got plenty of explainin' to do…
Doc Soto's eager to get stuck in with the geeky questions and asks Lucy about 'the jump' from 1963. Since this is the penultimate Alcatraz episode, you'd be forgiven for expecting some real answers, but no such luck. Instead, Lucy launches into a misty-eyed reminiscence about those she's loved and lost. Yawn.
"Ask me anything you want," she tells Madsen a few scenes later. But Lucy has no clue why the cop's partner was killed. Again, she's only willing to retread her own past, wistfully recalling her romance with Hauser. Again with the yawn.
With Lucy's return a big ol' damp squib, it's up to villain-of-week Garrett Stillman (Greg Ellis) to spark a little excitement. He's another genius super-criminal (exactly how many of those were there locked up on the Rock?) and has a penchant for chess.
Of course, you should never trust Alcatraz to be subtle - Stillman's chess-playing is a not-so-subtle analogy for his complex, multi-layered heists!
Still, British actor Ellis is a suitably suave nemesis and thankfully the writers don't overplay his nationality too much, save for a single scene in which he barks "See ya down the pub!" at his henchmen.
Stillman's '60s background is as follows - the island prison's contraband king Harlan Simmons is turned down for parole, chiefly because sneaky deputy warden EB Tiller (Jason Butler Harner) is making a profit off the back of his actions.
But leave it to the ridiculous Warden James (Jonny Coyne) to devise a typically cockamamy scheme - he wants Stillman to steal Simmons' parole report and replace it with a positive one, so he'll be freed. No, really, that's the plan - as if no-one would question it or remember the original result.
Tiller uncovers the monumentally dumb scheme, but Stillman is too slick for him - he has the 'Denied' document and used EB as a "pawn" (he plays chess!) to deliver the positive ruling. In fairness, it's a decent, unexpected twist.
Back in present-day San Francisco, Stillman has stolen three armoured trucks, ostensibly to rob cash from Simmons, who's now a reclusive billionaire. Yes, he's another genius former inmate.
Stillman's real target is a safe containing one of those mysterious keys that keep cropping up, but just as this portion of the episode threatens to get interesting, a mysterious figure named 'Ghost' arrives and shoots Stillman dead. He's robbed of the key and, once again, the viewer is robbed of answers.
As the episode concludes, it transpires that Stillman had a handler - the same man who's been aiding the other '63s. Turns out the accomplice is Tommy Madsen (David Hoflin). Judging from the soundtrack, the makers of Alcatraz think this is a shocking twist. It isn't.
There's more set-up for the Alcatraz finale as Hauser's team of technicians discover the series of tunnels beneath the Rock, and eventually the Warden's door. The mysterious keys can unlock the gate, but one is still missing. We'd love it if a smirking Warden James lurked on the other side.
Overall, 'Garrett Stillman' is a mixed bag. It boasts one of this show's more entertaining villains, but the A story reaches a disappointing conclusion and the flashback sub-plot is utterly ludicrous. Next up - the final episode, Tommy Madsen and, so we're promised, the secret of Alcatraz revealed...
Let us know what you thought of this week's Alcatraz below!